Life can be a stressful place, full of very low lows that can make the world dark and oppressing. These are the moments where even the strong may break down multiple times in one day as the issues keep piling up, forcing the person to feel like the world has turned over and soon the fires of Hell will lick her ankles. With every hour last Wednesday, I felt my world trying to crumble beneath my feet, and could almost hear those pesky little demons laughing and chanting my name from the deepest darkest depths.
Now that I've been nice and dramatic, let me tell you my tale. It actually began Tuesday when for some reason, we had no internet connection in the house. No worry, thought I, I only have grad school to do and seeing as Tuesday is my only day off, I usually take care of the lectures and keep myself on track that day, but it's fine. I've needed a break in a long time, so I'll take the day off from life as a whole. My two jobs keep me busy enough without the help of grad school, and I found all I wanted was time to myself. Thus I spent the day watching crappy television while crocheting because it's a relaxing and useful skill of mine, especially as I make Christmas presents. Tuesday flew by and we soon acquired internet once more. I decided to wake up early on Wednesday and watch my videos, but first, I noticed Windows 7 wanted to update on my computer. Being a good little girl that I am, I allowed it to do this instead of waiting until it forced the update, perhaps at a time that did not really benefit me.
Soon, it was Wednesday, and as planned I work up early and pulled open my computer, Zachary. At first, all seemed well and I began to watch my videos. But alas! Something went wrong! A few minutes into my first lecture, Zachary started to slow down and then stopped responding. I tried clicking around a bit, but got nothing. Eventually, I turned it off and on again in frustration, hoping that would fix the problem-- it didn't. For a whole hour, I kept trying to get it to work. I tried running scans for viruses, but the machine would slow down too soon and abort the scan, so I couldn't even tell if it was a virus or not. Unfortunately, since it was Wednesday and not Tuesday, I had to get ready for work. Both jobs in fact, since I worked the other one that night.
In my frustration, I broke down for the first time before climbing into the shower, letting the hot water wash off my tears and get me ready for a hard day. I packed up Zachary and brought him to work, so that I could perhaps get him help between jobs. When I got to my first job, my boss let me continue to try to figure out Zachary. I called Dell and got as much help as I could since my warranty already expired. Then I tried a few tests and got nowhere. My computer seemed mostly fine, so what was wrong? I texted my computer-savvy boyfriend, but got no response.
I went home in defeat after my first job and tried to relax before the next one, since I still had no idea what to do. Computers and I usually get along because I know a little about them, but I knew I needed an expert. I went to my next job, hoping to use the computers there to at least do some homework and try to get back on track.
Alas! My problems were not over yet! There, I found two anxious messages in my inbox saying I forgot to take a quiz for a class. Once again, I broke down, feeling everything crash around me. I pulled myself together though, and emailed my professor. After a quick email chat back and forth, she let me take the quiz with a 15% reduction. I said fine and took it immediately. To be fair, this means I did not do exceeding well, but I finished and got it over with. I learned my lesson and have marked down the next quiz, hoping to regain some points by that score.
Finally, my boyfriend responded to my three texts I sent: one to tell him my computer was broken, one to ask if he could come visit me at work and fix it, and one to illustrate my frustration after I found out I hadn't taken the quiz. See, I'm not a crazy texter like other girls. I like giving people a chance to answer if I can. He told me to come over and immediately took Zachary from my hands. If not for him, I would not be writing this now.
Long story short, I got Zachary back and can work on him, even though he's not entirely fixed. I can at least stay on top of my classes and even wrote 6,000 words today of my novel. I'm still 4,000 (soon to be 5,667) words behind, but I'll figure it out and just write more words a day. My crisis has been averted and I live to see another day!
Sunday, 18 November 2012
Wednesday, 31 October 2012
My Upcoming Adventure!
So right now, my life is a mix of grad school and work with odd tidbits of a struggling social life thrown in occasionally for good measure. I've noticed that my productivity and attention to my studies and work have started to sway and lack because I'm starting to get warn out and sick of the rut I've fallen into.
Thus I naturally have decided to add more to my work schedule! But not just extra work, this is special and different. Since my freshman year in college, I found out about National Novel Writing Month (aka NaNoWriMo) from my lovely friend, but unfortunately, never had time to participate. Don't get me wrong, I've been writing stories since I was eight. I started writing my first novel-length story when I was ten (granted, it's now my most challenging work because it has a lot of holes from thinking too much), and finished my first full novel at 14, then finishing two shorter ones by 16. Put simply, I feel like I'm capable of writing another novel and love the opportunity. To me, it is just fun to get the words out of my head and onto paper. I've published only in small journals (read this as little nothings) and haven't won any awards for my writing, but I have always gotten high marks in my Creative Writing classes-- even in London-- so don't let that fool you!
I will now be writing 1,667 words a day, which should be doable. This blog for the time being will become my stresses and failures, but also my reliefs and successes. It will be a creative break from the norm and allow me to enter my mind into the land of make-believe. A place where I should go more often, but am unfortunately too lame to do so.
Last night, I brainstormed parts of the story, but I won't go too far into brainstorming because I will allow the story to take me. It fell WONDERFUL to simply create the characters and think up tension. I can't wait to start writing tomorrow!
Wish me luck, and I'll keep you posted!
Thus I naturally have decided to add more to my work schedule! But not just extra work, this is special and different. Since my freshman year in college, I found out about National Novel Writing Month (aka NaNoWriMo) from my lovely friend, but unfortunately, never had time to participate. Don't get me wrong, I've been writing stories since I was eight. I started writing my first novel-length story when I was ten (granted, it's now my most challenging work because it has a lot of holes from thinking too much), and finished my first full novel at 14, then finishing two shorter ones by 16. Put simply, I feel like I'm capable of writing another novel and love the opportunity. To me, it is just fun to get the words out of my head and onto paper. I've published only in small journals (read this as little nothings) and haven't won any awards for my writing, but I have always gotten high marks in my Creative Writing classes-- even in London-- so don't let that fool you!
I will now be writing 1,667 words a day, which should be doable. This blog for the time being will become my stresses and failures, but also my reliefs and successes. It will be a creative break from the norm and allow me to enter my mind into the land of make-believe. A place where I should go more often, but am unfortunately too lame to do so.
Last night, I brainstormed parts of the story, but I won't go too far into brainstorming because I will allow the story to take me. It fell WONDERFUL to simply create the characters and think up tension. I can't wait to start writing tomorrow!
Wish me luck, and I'll keep you posted!
Tuesday, 2 October 2012
I should definitely be studying...
I work hours at my two jobs then come home to work hours on my masters degree. Simply put, if I can find some time to create, it seems like a miracle. That, or I'm starting to procrastinate way more than I should.
Anyhoo, my latest necklace:
I was mostly just playing around, but this took awhile to make. My goal will be to make my own beads eventually, but for now I'm using store-bought beads. I got this idea from online, but I can't find where. I do like how it turned out, though. Granted, working with chain can be a pain, and I have a slight bruise on my left pointer finger from opening and closing the little chain-links. Worth the pain, in the end.
Anyhoo, my latest necklace:
I was mostly just playing around, but this took awhile to make. My goal will be to make my own beads eventually, but for now I'm using store-bought beads. I got this idea from online, but I can't find where. I do like how it turned out, though. Granted, working with chain can be a pain, and I have a slight bruise on my left pointer finger from opening and closing the little chain-links. Worth the pain, in the end.
Wednesday, 8 August 2012
What I've Been Up To
This summer has become a time of creativity for me. Ever since I've come home from college, my hands have been furiously working on one project after another, and I still see many in my future. I figured I would share what I've made so far because if you ask me, it's pretty nifty stuff. Allow me to demonstrate:
This dress above was made out of two large T-shirts. I went online and did some research about making simple dresses so that I could make another layer out of crochet, but decided those patterns were lame and made up my own. I will show the next layer to this after I finish making it, seeing as I just started.
I bought this dress in London a year ago by accident. All right, not by accident, but truly I didn't mean to. I went to this market up in Camden Town and I thought this dress was cute, so I made the mistake of asking how much it was. The guy said fifteen pounds, which wasn't a bad price, but I only had twenty pounds on me and didn't want to spend all my money. As I walked away, he stopped me and asked why I didn't buy it. Long story short, I miraculously brought his price down to ten pounds and made off with the dress, only to find it a tad short. Wearable, but slightly out of my comfort zone, especially when I returned to the conservative States. Therefore, I decided to change the skirt (and the buttons, I lurve these buttons) to make it more me. Methinks I have succeeded.
I have made at least three of these necklaces. I got the pattern from the book Austentatious Crochet by Melissa Horozewski. I have fallen in love with this book and also made the pocket book as well (but that's a present, so I'm not showing it. Not to mention a small cape for my nice outfits). I'll probably end up making almost everything in the book with little touches like these coin beads.This one I simply happened to make for myself and I've decided working with small yarn sucks, but the end result is so darn pretty, I can't help myself.
Well, there you have it. If you ever asked the question: what does an art major do after college? Here's your answer. We continue to create and work, but instead of projects chosen by our professors, we have to be a tad bit more independent. I do have an idea for a series of paintings (or charcoal, color pencils, something...), but I'm having far too much fun crafting. Until later then, I will have my finished crocheted dress up soon... I hope!
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| T-Shirt Dress |
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| London Dress Remix |
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| Crocheted necklace |
Well, there you have it. If you ever asked the question: what does an art major do after college? Here's your answer. We continue to create and work, but instead of projects chosen by our professors, we have to be a tad bit more independent. I do have an idea for a series of paintings (or charcoal, color pencils, something...), but I'm having far too much fun crafting. Until later then, I will have my finished crocheted dress up soon... I hope!
Saturday, 28 July 2012
What I Want to Do While Alone at Work
I work at a library, but I am simply part time and usually cover shifts my four other coworkers don't really want to work. For example, today is Saturday, and the library's only open for four hours, wherein I am all alone with my thoughts, a myriad of books, and plenty of space. Here are some of the things I would like to do instead of simply sitting behind the Circulation Desk...
1. Dance between the shelves to my favorite music.
2. Sneak around as I pretend it's the zombie apocalypse and I'm the last living human.
3. Seek out the Literature section and NEVER LEAVE.
4. Do cartwheels between the tables in the study area.
5. Dance on the study tables.
6. Sit in the art gallery and simply stare at the art for an hour or two.
7. Play with the large globe and see where my finger lands when I spin it.
8. Go into the basement and search for hidden treasures.
9. Read all the Juvenile books.
10. Turn off all the lights and pretend I'm on a mission as I explore the dark nooks and crannies.
I really do love working in a library. Not simply because I'm a huge bibliophile, but because I like the people, the atmosphere, and the chance to continue to learn. A library is a safe place full of knowledge, where the silence can calm and the smell of books can warm your soul. Even in a completely empty library, one doesn't have to feel alone as long as she knows how to find a good book, a comfy seat, and lose herself in her own imagination.
1. Dance between the shelves to my favorite music.
2. Sneak around as I pretend it's the zombie apocalypse and I'm the last living human.
3. Seek out the Literature section and NEVER LEAVE.
4. Do cartwheels between the tables in the study area.
5. Dance on the study tables.
6. Sit in the art gallery and simply stare at the art for an hour or two.
7. Play with the large globe and see where my finger lands when I spin it.
8. Go into the basement and search for hidden treasures.
9. Read all the Juvenile books.
10. Turn off all the lights and pretend I'm on a mission as I explore the dark nooks and crannies.
I really do love working in a library. Not simply because I'm a huge bibliophile, but because I like the people, the atmosphere, and the chance to continue to learn. A library is a safe place full of knowledge, where the silence can calm and the smell of books can warm your soul. Even in a completely empty library, one doesn't have to feel alone as long as she knows how to find a good book, a comfy seat, and lose herself in her own imagination.
Sunday, 12 February 2012
Scraps
Now, I'm no poet, I'll tell you that now and apologize for the awkwardness of what will soon follow. I simply prefer the flow of prose and ignore the whole stanzas and rhyming thing. It always has confused me on how many rules poetry can have, and yet also say to throw out all of those "guidelines" and wing it. I'm aware of how prose also has rules like grammar and verb tense and such to follow, but those as well can be ignored if you do it right and/or intentionally. For some reason though, poetry just seems like slopping through two feet of snow: awkward, unusual, and tiring.
Then again, practicing poetry is good for prose, and my one friend has offered to put my words to music if I ever send anything to her. On a similar note, my grandmother passed away a couple of weeks ago and I'm taking it harder than I expected. Writing poetry and crocheting have really helped me cope, as well as focusing on my plans for the future. So here is simply a girl remembering her favorite aspects of her grandmother and trying to keep the memory of such a strong woman alive.
Nimble fingers, thin
Long and pale,
Expertly weave yarn,
Thread, or string.
A pause and point,
Her nail sparkles
In the fading light,
Her words of wisdom
Lost to naive ears.
Frosted eyes behind
Thick round lenses
Marked with a line ----
A German nose
Shades thin lips on a
Round, soft face. Irma smiles,
Cracking the ice.
This one is actually about my grandmother's/ aunt's house, which will probably be sold soon. It's where my father grew up and where I have always gone for the fondest memories with my family.
Simple white with evergreen trim,
A bench swing on the porch,
Sliding in the breeze.
The actual shape of the exterior
Escapes my wandering mind, but
The memories live within the house
Framed in dark wood molding,
Bathed in warmth,
Smelling like home-cooked meals and laundry,
Squished around a gargantuan dining table,
Decorated in Christmas lights, and
Covered under a hand-knit afghan,
Made just for you.
Then again, practicing poetry is good for prose, and my one friend has offered to put my words to music if I ever send anything to her. On a similar note, my grandmother passed away a couple of weeks ago and I'm taking it harder than I expected. Writing poetry and crocheting have really helped me cope, as well as focusing on my plans for the future. So here is simply a girl remembering her favorite aspects of her grandmother and trying to keep the memory of such a strong woman alive.
Nimble fingers, thin
Long and pale,
Expertly weave yarn,
Thread, or string.
A pause and point,
Her nail sparkles
In the fading light,
Her words of wisdom
Lost to naive ears.
Frosted eyes behind
Thick round lenses
Marked with a line ----
A German nose
Shades thin lips on a
Round, soft face. Irma smiles,
Cracking the ice.
This one is actually about my grandmother's/ aunt's house, which will probably be sold soon. It's where my father grew up and where I have always gone for the fondest memories with my family.
Simple white with evergreen trim,
A bench swing on the porch,
Sliding in the breeze.
The actual shape of the exterior
Escapes my wandering mind, but
The memories live within the house
Framed in dark wood molding,
Bathed in warmth,
Smelling like home-cooked meals and laundry,
Squished around a gargantuan dining table,
Decorated in Christmas lights, and
Covered under a hand-knit afghan,
Made just for you.
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